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5 Skills for a Happy Relationship (quick read!)

Relationships can be tough and while Valentines Day is a great excuse to spoil your significant other, how can you maintain a healthy relationship beyond Cupid’s Special Day? 

Relationships take effort and dedication it’s not as simple as meeting "The One" and living happily ever after. What do you want from your relationship? What are your relationship goals? How well do your individual goals align with that of your significant other? 

Here are some quick skills to work on to make your relationship as healthy as possible - these are great places to start, rather than the final solution.

Empathy

Everyone talks about empathy but it is a skill you have to work on. How often do you get into an argument which, after a cooling down period, you realise could’ve have been avoided if you thought about their point of view?
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels

Empathy is not just a great skill for a romantic relationship but all social relationships. You have to make an effort to understand how your significant other will look upon scenarios and decisions.

Communication

It’s cliche - and obvious - but crucial! How can you understand your significant other without actually spending the time talking to them?
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This doesn’t mean small talk while you watch The Crown - this is dedicated time just to talk to your partner and get to know them, their interests and their goals. If you’re not interested in what your partner has to say then maybe you should consider the future of this relationship. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak, actively listen and engage with what is being said to you! 

Conflict

You NEED conflict. If you never fight, the chances are someone is holding back. Why are they holding back? Maybe because they feel an argument would result in something as severe as a break up! This ties into communication - arguing is part of communicating.
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels
We usually become frustrated or angry when something has happened which disagrees with our values we live our lives by; if you don’t let your partner know how you feel they won’t know where your line is. 

Commitment

Again, obvious but often forgotten. If you decide to move to this level of a relationship with someone, you have to be prepared to sacrifice any desire to be with other people (and, if there is this desire then why jump into a relationship?!). So many people rush into relationships for fear of being alone, to avoid conflict or because you think it’s the “expected next move”. Committing to someone means being prepared for a long-term relationship and being willing to put the miles in with hard work and persistence. In the short term the adjustment may be tough but the long term rewards massively outweigh the struggles.
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Love

THE MOST IMPORTANT! But what really is love?? The Greeks had 3 types of Love:

Eros: Being attracted to your partner 

Philios: Having shared interests and friendship 

Agape: Being prepared to put your partner first

I think the best relationships encompass all of these themes mutually between the partners. If you don’t feel like your partner is attracted to you, sharing your interests or prepared to put you first then talk to them about it. 

Relationships take a great deal of introspection and sometimes it can be hard to examine you and your relationship so deeply for fear of what you might find - but it’s worth a look.

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What are your thoughts? 

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  1. Valentino thomas12 March 2020 at 03:25

    You want to be honest but you also want to make sure that he understands that if you are not giving him everything he wants from a relationship that you are willing to take things slow. For more information on advice from psychologist, read me.

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