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Maintaining Your Relationship While You're Away At Uni

Hey guys! It’s that time of year again. 

Christmas feels long gone, January has finally ended, and the new decade is in full swing. The next date in the diary is fast approaching. Some love it and some aren’t quite so fond of it. Yep, that’s right! Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us.


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I was just discussing our next article with Josh last week, and he suggested that, with Valentines approaching, we could write about “Maintaining a long-distance relationship at university”. Many of us have been in that situation and I had several housemates who would often have their partner stay over. 

I had one housemate in second year who’s girlfriend practically lived with us. I had another housemate who alternated weekends with his other half – one week he went to her, the next she would come to us. I also had a guy in the room next door one year, who couldn’t leave the house without skyping his beloved first. It just goes to show that there are many ways to negotiate a relationship while one of you is away studying, and it is very possible to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship during this time.

Of course, it will be hard at times. But never fear! We at Stridi Towers have some tips to make the whole thing much more manageable. 

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First of all, I would suggest that you could start by making your partner a part of the household. Even if it’s not quite to the extent of my second year, where we basically had a 5th housemate. Introduce your other half to the rest of the house, involve them in house activities – such as playing cards, house meals or going out. This will create a bond between your beloved and the rest of the house, encouraging friendships to develop. 

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder, which means that it’s healthy to have time apart. You don’t need to video call them on an hourly basis, especially as you don’t want the awesome group of people that you’re living with to start leaving you out of house activities. Perhaps set aside a mutually beneficial time of day, such as just before bedtime or when you’re both watching corrie, and have your phone call or video call then.

To lead on from the last point, don’t lose focus of your degree. You’re at university, and paying a lot of money for such an honour, so it’s vitally important that your uni work comes as a priority. If your partner can fire revision questions at you over skype then great, but if you’d rather separate work and pleasure, then set aside revision time before you relax for the evening. 

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Make sure the weekend travelling is equal. By which I mean that if you’ve worked out a system where you go home one weekend and they come to you the following one, then great! But if you find yourself doing all the work, or even if you come to the realisation that you’re always the host, then maybe it’s time to sit down and talk about making it more even. Otherwise, there is a chance that an argument could be fuelled by one of you – eventually – getting fed up of making all the effort. Communication is key in a relationship!

But just remember, relationships require hard work and dedication, whether you’re living together, you live in the same street, or if you live 100 miles apart. But if you both want it to make it a success, and you’re willing to put the effort in, its likely that you will succeed!

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And as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, your family, friends and especially your partner are proud of you for moving away to study for an exciting future. 

I’ll finish by sharing a light valentines anecdote from my second year. It was the year where we basically had an extra housemate. The other two guys were nowhere to be seen, leaving me alone to play Third Wheel on Valentines Evening. My housemate had made a bit too much food and so they asked if I fancied joining them! it was a pleasant, if not slightly awkward evening…. 

Anyway, whatever your plans for the big day, have a good one :)
M
 

Follow Matt: @Matt_jl_24

 

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